Updated: Nov 18, 2018
While browsing through wedding planning forums, I often see this question come up:
"Is it okay, or is it rude, to avoid stereotypical wedding traditions?"
Let’s just get this out there – you don’t have to do anything at your wedding except get married. That doesn’t mean you can’t. You just don’t have to.
If you don’t want a bouquet toss or garter toss, don’t have one. If you don’t want a formal sit down dinner, great. If you want to get married in the morning instead of the afternoon, you do that. If you don’t want a traditional ceremony in a church, have your ceremony somewhere else.
You get the point.
There have been many people I have spoken with who have said that they wish they had their own wedding – not their mother’s. It seems that while planning, the couple went with what was the “norm” when it came to events that happened at the wedding to the type and colors of décor. A lot of what they chose to do was dictated by what their parents had said was meant to happen. And really, if this is your first wedding you likely don’t know what is supposed to happen at a wedding, so you rely on their advice.
What is thought of as traditional at a wedding has shifted decade after decade. Did you know white wedding gowns weren’t a thing until 1840 when Queen Victoria of England wore white? Then, in the early 1900’s wedding dresses were often not white. Tradition changes. The one thing that remains constant is the marriage that takes place at the wedding.
Go forth in planning feeling confident that you can do what you’d like at your wedding. And avoid what you don’t like. It is not going to be the best day for you if you must sit through something you don’t like. It won’t be fun for those watching your wedding, either. You do you! The only thing that should happen is that you get married and have a blast